I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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