Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
