dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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