An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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