The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
