No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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