I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
