i may or may not be watching the land before time
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
