Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
