Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
