How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
They are going to name an STD after you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
