I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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