Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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