I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
