Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
