Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you inspire me to be a worse person
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
