I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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