yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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