He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
