I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
