nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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