Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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