It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
