That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
