Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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