He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
