How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will be naked everywhere
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
