watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
