Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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