very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
