Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
