Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
