wat bout pragnant strippers??
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
