Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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