remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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