He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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