physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
