home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
