At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
