Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
