i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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