dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
