sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
