How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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