Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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