when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
