drinking out of a sandbucket again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
