all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
