Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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