if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
