Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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