He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
