What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
