um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
