I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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